Happy Anniversary

This post is dedicated to Yvette Louise (Comeau) Patten,  My wife, My Lover, My Friend and the Mother of our Children.

Yvette, 16 years ago, at the time I am writing this it was the night before our wedding.  I had a bachelor party of sorts, (we played a James Bond game on the Super nintendo).  Then we hit the bed fairly early so I would be rested up before the wedding the next day.  I lay there in the bed at your brother's house trying to get to sleep and failing miserably.  I don't know how long I lay there unable to sleep.  I was nervous, scared, excited and ready to get through the day.  I must have finally fallen asleep because next thing I know it was time to get up, have some breakfast, a shower and start getting dressed and made presentable.

You are my beautiful bride and I admit a part of me was so relived when I saw you coming down the aisle.  A part of me kept thinking (what if she changes her mind).  I was so happy and you were (and still are) beautiful. I really didn't pay that much attention to the service I don't think.  I was concentrating on how scared I was at the new life I was starting and how often I looked over at you.  I remember saying our vows, and hoping I was heard,  the seemingly forever wait to sign the marriage certificate as it seemed like everyone else had to sign ahead of us.  Then we went over an pinned on the board on the wall of the church.

We had the dinner, the toast, our "first dance", which I think may have been one of our first dances :).  I haven't ever been much of a dancer.  I lack the coordination.  Finally getting to our room and spending the night, and morning as husband and wife before going back to your parents house where we had more partying.

That was sixteen years ago now.  Over 1/3 of our lifetime has been together.  We have been through the joys of bringing 4 lives into the world.  We have had our share of pain and heartache, blessings and trials, sickness and health, and even richer and poorer.  We are still together, still blessed and still in love.  I promised this day 16 years ago to be with you for all my life and I continue that promise to this day and all the days that follow.  I cannot and do not want to imagine or know what my life would be like without you by my side.

With you by my side, and with and by, the grace of Jesus, I have become a better man, a loving father, and grown beyond what I was then.  Some of it is just growing older, and more experienced.  But the love and partnership and sharing a life with you has helped me grow.

I love you.  I love the way you are always there for me.  I love the compassion and caring you have not just for us, but for the church family we have.  You are quick with the encouraging words, the ears ready to listen and the shoulder to cry on.  I love that you are a mother for our children.  I love to know you are by my side at night.  I love the kiss we share during greeting time at church.  It is a small thing perhaps, but it is special to me.   I love to see when you paint and the enjoyment you get from the creative expression.  I love that you chose to join your life to mine (and continue to do so) so that together we are building a family and our lives.

I love that you are willing to forgive my faults, my failings, and my absent mindedness.  I know I can be exasperating to you at times and I hate when I fail and disappoint you.   Yet you have been so loving and forgiving.  You have shown me grace, forgiveness and love at times when I have been everything from simply forgetful to cruelly selfish.  In short, you love me even through the flawed person that I am.  I thank the Lord for you and for your love.

I am not the man I should be, and I know that I have to continue to grow.  I pray that I can be the man you need and be the compliment to you, that together we will continue to grow to be the "one flesh"  that is greater than the two of us individually.

What I need to do is to learn to be Love as shown by  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Happy Anniversary Hun
Love
Jason

saturday Night thoughts

Just a few random thoughts for tonight

I have thought a lot about What to write for my post.  Everytime I think of writing I don't have time, and when I do have time, I don't think about writing.   Then I try to make sure that I am not simply re-hashing everything I have written already.
New content and new ideas are a good thing.  So here I am trying to figure out what to write for a blog entry.  It is currently summer vacation, which means the kids are home during the day.  I, of course, am still getting up for work each day.  It doesn't seem like it has been almost 16 years that I have been working at M3 and that Stephanie will be 15 in September.   She is starting High School this year.   She is growing into a young woman and is no longer my 'Munchkin'.   I don't think she will ever let me live down having let that slip out at Youth.   This weekend the Youth Group is heading to Panama City Beach for camp.  Yvette is going as a chaperone, and Steph and Joe are both going.  So it will be just the little ones and I for the weekend.  I suppose I need to stop calling them that since they will be 8 in August and heading to 3rd grade.

I guess the thing to keep in mind is that time doesn't stop, the days do not stand still.
It is that that leads to the next idea i have been thinking about.  That a new idea of how Quantum Entaglement allows for, or gives our perception of the passage of time.  See article Time illusion.
If I read it correctly, the idea is that quantum entanglement allows for the perception of the passage of time within the universe, but if you were to look from Outside the universe there would be no passage of time.
In ways, this makes sense.  God exists outside of the universe, and sees all of time at once.  I think C.S. Lewis called it the infinite Now I believe.  Not a perfect illustration I am sure, but an attempt to explain how we could both have free will, AND have a God who knows all things at all times.   Another explanation is that if God is Omnipresent in Space, then he will be omnipresent in Time since Time and space are different aspects to the universe.  I have to admit I had not thought of it from that point of view.  The more I learn about the Universe, the more I feel it points toward and not away from God.  And in fact underscores how he can be an infinite God.

Friday Night

It's another Friday night.  After I got home from work Yvette and the kids, minus Stephanie who was at an FCA thing at school, went out and had supper at Firehouse subs.  Then we went and played Ingress for a bit in the area.  I do enjoy the game.  I have been thinking more about what to write here and it keeps coming back to the same things over and over.  This has been a long hard week with work and right now I am just feeling mentally exhausted.  Then at dinner Sam pointed out, oh so helpfully, that I am growing "Old hair."  Yes, I am starting to find some gray hairs in this head of mine.  Aren't those supposed to be "Wisdom highlights" or something like that?
I don't feel any wiser as yet. Tomorrow will be the first saturday in quite some time that we do not have to be up bright and early and off to do something first thing in the morning.  That will be nice for a change.

Earlier, and almost every night this week, I have had thoughts about what I should write, and how I could post more, but now it all leaves my mind.   I just feel tired so I think I will sign off for the evening.  Thank you for reading, and as always, i welcome feedback and ideas for more writing.

Sunday night

This makes night two in a row of posting here.
I think tonight will likely be a short post.

Tomorrow is the start of a new week.
I think for tonight I will simply post a prayer for the coming week.

Lord, our Father in heaven.
Lord Tonight I pray first to simply thank you for the blessings seen and unseen you have poured out on our family and myself.  Lord I thank you for the gift of your son Jesus, and Lord I want to just give you Glory.
Lord I ask for the forgiveness of the sins of the day and the past week, and I thank you for that forgiveness.  Father I ask that you give me the wisdom and the desire to seek your will and your direction.  I ask Lord that you help me to be the best Husband, Father, Employee and man that I can be.
Lord I pray for your blessings and protection for Yvette, Stephanie, Joseph, Samuel, and Jenna.  I ray Lord that you will guide their hearts, minds and actions to glorify you. I pray Lord for their safety as they go to school and that their minds will be open to learning.  I pray for Yvette and I that you will bless us and our marriage.  And Lord Finally I ask that you would give wisdom to our leaders, National and local, that they will seek your will and that by doing so will bring your blessing to our country.

Father I pray that my heart would be open to you and Lord that I would learn to listen first to you, and then to those around me.  that Lord I would, as your Word says, be quick to listen and slow to speak.

Lord I come to you in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ.
Amen

Writing

Welcome back anyone who may read this.
I have been trying to get myself into the mood to write for sometime and try to come up with something to write about.
So far, I don't seem to come up with much, or everything I try to sit down and think about writing about just fizzles when it comes down to actually putting the thoughts to paper so to speak.  

So I may just ramble a bit in stream-of-consciousness mode for a bit and see what falls out.
It's 2014, and the year is flying by already.   This year will be my 16th Anniversary, my oldest's 15th birthday, and 16 years on the job at M3 Accounting + Analytics.  We ahve started a new Men's bible study at church on Sunday evenings, "Dare to be Uncommon" by Tony Dungy.  I am looking forward to it and to the growth and the time spent with the men of the church.

There are so many things I could try to right about,  Freedom, the state of our country and world, my family, my faith and beliefs.  Maybe I should post the "nuggets" of fan-fic I have written set in Star trek.

I just don't know at the moment.

What do you, my faithful and not so faithful readers want to see and read?
Let me know in the comments or email.