Musings

A new class is starting, well started last night but I didn't get to the discussions last night.  I am still waiting on the grade on my final for this last one.  It is beginning to get more difficult in these classes and I know I need to devote serious time to them.  The past few weeks have been very draining, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.   There has been and continues to be a lot on my heart and mind and I am glad I had time off from work through some of the most spiritually tumultuous points.  Its not over yet though I think I am beginning to have a handle on it.  It was great to see Jessica, and meet Larry and Yvette loved having the chance to spend time with family. To top it off we went to see the mouse in Orlando.  the days were long, the drive even longer, but when I wasn't talking politics and constitutional intent and inherent rights with Larry on the drive there was a lot of time to think.

I have never before encountered a point where a situation and my reaction to it has driven me to have physical illness before.  I think though that instead of focusing on the past and people and situations that I cannot change,  it is time to look forward.  There is a great need in our society and especially within our churches for the support of the institution of marriage.  And not as in fighting 'gay marriage' or railing against the decay of our culture.  Instead the church should celebrate marriage, work to make sure that married couples thrive in their relationship and make it plainly visible that marriage is the desirable option.  Instead of boldly condemning those who fall into relationships outside of the holy union, we should lift up marriage to be seen as the blessing it is.

After all, isn't marriage supposed to be a reflection of the most glorious relationship possible?  the relationship between ourselves and Jesus Christ?  If we do not hold marriage in the high esteem that we are supposed to hold that sacred relationship then how high are we holding our commitment to Christ? This extends to all facets of the marriage.   From the forsaking of all others, to the Headship of the husband (boy I bet that will get some one's dander up) to the bed as well.  For perhaps in all of marriage this is the place we as Christians have dropped the ball the most.  Sex is meant to be the glue that binds the marriage together.  It is far more than a physical act.  There is, or is supposed to be a spiritual and emotional joining as well.  That the opening of ourselves at our most vulnerable to each other.  This is the human, physical model for what our intimacy with Christ is to be like.  We are to be totally open to him, hiding nothing of ourselves from God.  Just as a husband and wife are to be totally open to each other, joining to become one flesh.   This is of course not an instantaneous event, but a process, a journey of growth that increases through the years.  It takes work, and commitment.  Love will not simply bloom and be there.  It is a choice.  It is doing the things that are hard.  it is giving of yourself to the other totally.  We as a church have spent so much time condemning the ways in which the gift of sex has been perverted and preaching the evils of those perversions that we do not celebrate the joy and glorious gift it is within marriage, or if we do it is overshadowed by all that has been done previously.  Of course it is easy to go from that to sinful exposure of what belongs between a man and his wife.

I sit here and write these things and realize that my own life, my own marriage have not yet reached this point, this picture of what marriage ought to be.  My own past mocks me and tells me that I have done enough damage and how can I say these things with a straight face.
There is a simple answer.  First, I am human. I will fail,  we all will fail at some point.  None are perfect save he who sits on the throne and the perfect sacrifice at his right hand.  Second, I am forgiven, my sins have been cleansed.   They are no more.  I may not be able to forget them, and I will carry some scars and those around me will carry scars from what has been done, but those sins have no power.

I know I have kind of bounced around so if you are still reading, congratulations!  My mind tends to go everywhere and when I write I do as well. Especially in a format like this.   But back to topic.
Marriage as I said is a sacred thing.  The more I have seen marriages around me collapse, some after many years the more I realize that more must be done to support married couples, more must be done to help those who are hurting, more must be done to make the younger generations realize what marriage SHOULD be, not what we have let it become.  So many Christians live no differently than those outside it. marriage is not a permanent institution to them.   Just as our relationship to Christ cannot ever be severed, so a marriage is not severed.   Abuse and adultery are the acceptable reasons for a divorce.  Otherwise It is wrong.   And even in the previous cases Christ can bring a change of heart and a transformation of one or both involved.   If this does not happen, then the marriage will die, and a divorce occurs.  This does not make the divorce right.   It is still a terrible thing.   Perhaps if we understood this within the church then the rate of divorce would be far lower.  

These are thoughts I have had for a long time, but not really known how to express them.  For several years I have tried to put to words the ideas behind it and I still feel its not quite adequate.   In the past two years I have seen marriages of friends and those around me break up and dissolve and it has begun to tear at my heart.  I am angry that we do not see what it is that has been destroyed.  

I say that this cannot be laid at the feet of Hollywood, or the secular media as so many do.  If the church and as a whole had not abandoned marriage and the celebration of what marriage is and uplifted it then there would have not been a vacuum for the secular left to fill.

I think, that at this time I will go ahead and wrap this up.  If you are still reading, thank you.  If you agree, disagree, love, hate, think I am full of it, let me know.   If you agree, or like, share this blog.

thank you for reading and I hope that if nothing else, you now have something to think about.
--Jason